Good News Today

We've been anxiously awaiting the results from Heathers bone biopsy last week as our future hung on by a infinitesimal thread- Stage IV or remission?  After several months of guessing games, I think we've come to the point where we try to rest in the moment as much as possible.  We made it through last week fairly well and had an almost normal few days, which was great though yesterday I was struck by an immense wave of sadness because I knew that the biopsy results would be back within the next few days and the possibility of Heather being terminal was very real.  I was morose, smiling politely at customers, but I'm willing to bet that my eyes betrayed what my forced smile was trying to cover up.  Talking to Heather later in the evening seemed to help and I was soon in manageable state of mind- enough so to do some yardwork.  
It's odd, but when the sun is shining, steak is on the grill, and your wife is happy, dark days fade away- and yet, they are never really gone, just overpowered by the happiness of the moment.  Anyway, today the clouds parted and we got some good news- the biopsy came back negative for cancer so as of 5/14/2012 Heather is in remission.  After bouts of excitment and unrestrained relief, we both know that it's time to buckle down and carry on with the mission- chemotherapy weekly for 12 weeks, both Taxol and Herceptin, then Herceptin every three weeks for a year.  Heather is a tough girl- she stood up to cancer and refused to let it take her baby, and her body bears the beautiful scars of a battle well fought.  We've fallen many times within the last few months, but the love and support of our family (yes, all of you who read this) has sustained us in our lowest moments.  Life goes on and we'll take it as it comes.  What else is there to do, but to live?   

Bone Biopsy Today

A quick update:
After two previous attempts, it looks like today will be the day of great success, as the bone specialist here at FMH will be performing a biopsy on Heathers spine.  The initial biopsy attempt was in Anchorage, the second was up here with a doctor that felt that waiting a few extra days would allow the current doctor to exercise his specialty and get the best results. 
Among the false starts and delays there has been a bit of good news- Dr. Cox reviewed an old CT scan from 2006 and found that the spot on her sacrum which was thought to be cancer was actually present in 2006, which leaves just one fire still burning, that in her spine.  Provided all goes well today, we should get the results back in a week or so, generally the results come back much sooner as the pathologist tests the specimen here in town, but they may have to send it down to Seattle instead.  Joshua is doing well but we both miss him very much.  He was scheduled to be transferred to FMH this week but still has some developing to do, his breathing is being supplemented with an oxygen flow of 6 liters and he should be down to 3 liters before he comes home to Fairbanks.  It pains me to leave him in Anchorage, as the Lower 48 air can't be good for him, but soon enough he'll be back in God's country ;)  Keep your heads up!

Back at Home

Heather is back at home and today we are at the Cancer Treatment Center to see Dr. Cox, we will see what the treatment plan is, who knows what the next step is.

Of Bagels and Biopsies (oh yeah, and chemo drugs too)

Heather just got out of our visit to the Katmai Cancer Center here in Anchorage, we met with Dr. Susan Delgalvis to further discuss Heathers latest diagnosis. Dr. Delgalvis went over the scan results with the radiologist this morning and she is fairly confident that the cancer has spread to her spine and sacral area, which is by the tailbone, not by the hip as previously thought. She spoke with Dr. Cox back in Fairbanks, which judging by the Facebook pictures I've seen today, looks beautiful- and formulated a plan of action. She is going to schedule a biopsy for the tumor on Heather's spine and hopefully get the results sometime this week. If it is confirmed to be cancer, then Heather gets bumped from Stage 3 to Stage 4 cancer- there is no Stage 5, if you get my drift. If that's the case, then Heathers care plan changes as well, she was originally supposed to have intensive chemotherapy treatments of Taxol which slows the spread of cancer cells, and Herceptin, which specifically targets the cell receptors that “tell” a cell to grow and divide, in her case, the cancer is caused by too many cell receptors telling the cells to grow, thus resulting in rapid growth of cancer (see picture). If she is diagnosed as Stage 4, she will only receive the Herceptin, and that every three weeks. The doctors that be would like to save the actual chemotherapy for if she has a major outbreak of cancer growth so they can beat it back into submission (hopefully).

Read a USA Today article on Herceptin and breast cancer here.   Make sure to read to the end of the article.  Did I mention I'm desperately grateful I have medical insurance?

Heather had her first infusion of Herceptin today, it comes in a clear fluid, unlike the red fluid that Adriamycin comes in. I guess that Herceptin can cause some pretty sever immediate side effects to first time users, such as shortness of breath, lowered blood pressure, and others, so the initial infusion is used to monitor if she would have any negative side effects. Fortunately, she simply went to sleep after eating a bagel I bought her at the cafe downstairs. The infusion was uneventful, other than her sending me down for another bagel and a croissant sandwich (who knew toxic chemicals would stir up such an appetite?). A small bit of positive outcome is welcome with all that has gone on as of late, and hopefully this means that she will not have any major side effects in the future, at least with the Herceptin. As such, she will receive Herceptin every three weeks for the rest of her natural life, and here's hoping that will be many years down the road.

Metastasis Blues

After a weekend of uncertainty waiting for the results of her bone and CT scan, Heathers test results came back today and showed a miniscule spot on her liver, as well as two spots in her bone, one on her hip and one on her lower spine.  The liver spot is too small to biopsy and it is not certain that it is cancer, but the bone spots are likely cancerous and will need to be biopsied.  If it is bone cancer, it is incurable and can only be managed to impede its progress.  Due to the variables of Heathers type of breast cancer we have to go day by day- she could live for mere months or several years, we just don't know.  We're experiencing the same range of emotions that we had when she was first diagnosed- for me, sorrow, rage, and helplessness over the lack of control of the situation.  Part of me is begging for some random person to pick a fight with me, the other part of me wants my M249 SAW back and a few thousands rounds of ammunition to burn through out in the middle of nowhere. Obviously these thoughts are not rational and not very helpful to the situation at hand, but man, this news is enough to make me fairly upset!  Heather is worried about how we are going to tell the kids about this and how long she's going to have to have chemo and treatment, which means chronic illness and pain.  The flip side of this is that we already knew that she was dying, as we all are dying in some way or another, we were just reminded the certainty of that fact.  We will work through this a day at a time and do our best to enjoy our family time together.   

Update

It's been a while since I've updated the blog- Heather's been in Anchorage with Joshua since April 4th when he was born, he's been doing well and of today weighs 3 lbs.  He's really opening his eyes and looking more and more like a normal baby, in the sense that he is not so squishy looking :)  Heather had a bone scan and CT on thursday to see if the cancer has spread in her body since she was diagnosed.  We would have liked to find out on Friday but alas, we must wait until monday.  We are both a bit nervous and perhaps a bit cautiously optimistic that everything will be fine.  Either way, Heather will be starting up her chemo treatment this next week and will receive chemo every week for the next three months, then every three weeks for the next year.  It's been difficult being apart as I've been up in Fairbanks with Joey so we can continue school and work, it's painfully obvious that I make a poor single parent, Heather is really a blessing and the glue that keeps our household running smoothly.  Did I mention that she's also good looking?  Since she's gone hairless she has been the reluctant recipient of dozens of comments on how beautiful her complexion and head is!  There is hope on the horizon, it's nearly summer, Josh will likely be transferred to Fairbanks Memorial Hospital in a couple weeks, and Joey and I are nearly done with school (really cant wait for that one).  Thanks to all of you for your support, both financially and spiritually, it has been a great help.