Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to my dear wife Heather and little buddy Sammy, who is now three whole years old.

Port Problems part II

The port that Dr. Montano put in last Tuesday continued to give the staff at the CTC trouble during her first chemo treatment last Wednesday, they were unable to give her the chemo drug in her port as it is very toxic and they could not guarantee that it wouln't leak into other areas of her body, causing complications.  They also weren't able to draw blood from it like they should have been able to.  The initial word from the doctor was that the port may have had a kink in it and would have to be replaced if it was not operational by this next Wednesday.  Please pray that her port is operational by Wednesday so she won't have to go through surgery again.   

A Brief Word on Church Tonight

Many times have I climbed the slopes of Zion, only to be dashed among the rocks of Sinai, yet the hands and feet of the pilgrims of God bind my wounds and carry me to Zion again.  As they've done for me, do for each other.

Running for Heather

My time in Iraq was depressing, exciting, and brutal, sometimes all in the same day.  Doc Lowry (first name Nick) was our squad corpsman and he cared for my mental health as well as my physical health by being my closest friend in Iraq (Read more here).  I hadn't spoken with Nick since 2004 until I found him on Facebook last year; he and his wife Nicki live in Texas and both are active among veterans and their families in their area, including one of Nicki's projects, Warrior Wives of Warriors Weekend.  Though we have never met her, Nicki has been diligent to spread the word to pray for Heather's condition .  I received a great message from her today- her group from the Warrior Wives have signed up to participate in the Texas Coast Tough Mudder event.  These events are built upon the principles of mental endurance, teamwork, and perseverance.  Kinda reminds me of the Marines.  Anyway, Nicki told me that her team is going to be wearing white ribbons, symbolizing hope, to honor Heather and her battle with cancer.  It was very touching and humbling to realize complete strangers care about a stranger in need- I wish I had a 1/4th of that compassion.  Go get 'em Nicki, Semper Fi!

Firewood

We've received open ended offers of help from dozens of people since Monday.  It's overwhelming to know that we have such a support system pulling for us and ready to help, I only hope that we have the chance to return the kindness you all have expressed.  I talked with a breast cancer navigator at the Cancer Treatment Center today, she also happens to be a familiar co-worker, with whom I've taught many Non-Violent Crisis Intervention classes with at FMH.  The topic of accepting help came up and I voiced my trepidation at asking for resources in such a hard economy, but she assured me that it was appropiate to do so, sooo...

We could really use some firewood, we have heating fuel but thanks to our cold spell we've been using it an obscene rate, plus thanks to the cold, our living room and dining area stay at around 5 degrees colder than where the dial is set.  This summer was filled with work and we did not have time to get enough wood to see us through the winter.  If anyone could spare some that would be great, or if you know where to get a decent cord for under 250 that would be awesome.  Accepting that I cannot reasonably provide firewood for my family at this time is hard to swallow, but I have nothing to lose by asking.  Thanks. 

Up at 0430 and off to work- life goes on...

The First 24hrs After

Here I am 24hrs after my first treatment, I have been sleeping.  I guess im catching up from not sleeping since I found out on Monday.  Early this morning was hard, I had my breakdown with lots of tears.  I was crying because of my kids.  The disease is in the bag, I can do this, but to be away from my children who are my whole world is the hardest.  I know and  trust everyone they are with, and I know they are well taken care of, but for a mom who hasnt been away from her kids much since they were born is hard.  I want my kids to know that mommy is sick but will be ok and i dont want them scared of me  when I am bald or when I do spend so much time in bed.  The main thing I want everyone to know is I  am not looking for a pity party, I am great, I believe that deep down I knew this wasnt just some infection, I believe that God somehow showed me what I was about to face and I have been researching cancer for a few months now.  I am not scared of the disease, or one day dying.  I am at peace with this whole thing, and for those that know me....I am a fighter!  I was talking to the surgeon the other day that placed the port and he said I was such a fighter, it was supposed to be a mild sedation and when I said "ok I'm done, time to leave" he knew I had to be put fully under because I tried to get off the table and leave the room.  I laughed so hard when he told me that, I dont remember a thing but I do know that is me all the way!!!  My mom is having a very hard time with this.  I love you mom, and I'm ok.  I promise.  Im going back to bed now, I'll talk with everyone later.